I pride myself on my authenticity, “real life” and vulnerability on social media. Truthfully, I don’t have the time or capacity to be any different. What you see is what you get- some days that’s put together, and some days I’m not getting dressed until lunch time because I can. And when things are going on behind the scenes, I have a tendency to get quiet. Because all of my “real life” authenticity, doesn’t mean the whole world needs to know everything.
But the cat has been out of the bag for a few weeks to most of my people, so I figured it was time to share around here too.
Back in August I started having some weird health issues. Tip of the iceberg was lightheadedness. I always feel it coming on and as long as I sit soon enough, I don’t drop. Yes, there have been a few times I thought I’d make it to the chair or couch and dropped before I could get there. It was more like when you stand up too quick, except I’d be in the middle of walking down our hallway when it would hit. I kept up with my water in-take and electrolytes, and chalked it up to a fluke.
Around the same time I was having excruciating joint pain and inflammation. I was going to my most favorite acupuncturist Dr. Kari, Ethan was making me eat breakfast, and I cut my coffee down to 1 cup a day instead of most of a pot. The joint pain has subsided for the most part- I think my knees will hurt for all eternity. But along with it I was noticing little tremors in my hands. Again, they felt more like when I’d drink too much water and flush out my system, I’d get a bit shaky until I ate some food and drank some re-lyte. I wasn’t in any pain, they were very inconsistent, and not very strong.
As the weeks went on, I continued to have tremors, and they continued to increase in frequency, length of time they lasted, and severity. There have been times that even when I’m sleeping, my hand shakes enough to wake me up. On my birthday Ethan came up from working and found me on the couch having an episode that I couldn’t hide. I’d already been thinking I needed to make an appointment, but that sealed it. I immediately made an appointment with my GP- Monday 22 January.
Not that anyone wants to be having any kind of episode going to the doctors, but as my tremors also seem to be worse in the mornings, I was actually thankful to be having one sitting with Dr. Hess. I don’t love going to the doctors, but I’ve pretty much always had positive experiences with her, as she’s also been Athena’s GP since birth. This also meant she knew I was real serious to be sitting IN the office, and not just a tele-appointment, or that I had an appointment at all. She immediately ordered a full battery of blood tests, EKG, Holter Monitor, and Echocardiogram. It was a very easy decision to put in the referral for neurology right then instead of waiting for all of the other testing to come back. As a specialist, there was a chance it could be weeks before hearing from them, and we agreed starting that process and getting on their waiting list ASAP was the best course of action.
After wrapping up my appointment with her I walked next door for my blood work and EKG. I scheduled my Holter Monitor for later that afternoon. I had to wait for insurance to clear the echocardiogram before that could be scheduled.
By Tuesday 1/23 all of my blood work, and EKG had come back- beautiful and pristine. It was like my test results came out of the page of a textbook. Though this is great news in a lot of ways, it meant that my symptoms weren’t from an easily rectifiable problem like a deficiency that could be fixed with a supplement or diet change. The Holter Monitor results were back on Wednesday 1/24, and again, were just as clear, more or less ruling out cardio as a potential. It meant that it closed the door on a number of potentials- not a bad thing, and opened Pandora’s box on a whole lot more potentials, of which are all a bit more specific and have names. I was able to schedule my echocardiogram for the following week, 2/1. And on Tuesday 1/30, neurology called, a week sooner than expected, and was able to fit me in the next day, 31 January.
The neurology Doc was super nice. He has no idea what’s wrong with me- his words, not mine. He pretty confident that it’s not epilepsy, narcolepsy, or seizure related at all. However, he did refer me to another doctor in the practice that specializes in movement disorders/tremors. He’s also retiring. He also put in the referral for an MRI, which was the expected next step. Now I am waiting for them to call me to schedule another appointment with the new neurologist as well as the MRI.
I REALLY hate unknowns. Like, I don’t even like to play guessing games. It’s why even if my plans don’t pan out it at least makes me feel better to have one. There’s nothing like picking Hallelujah: praise the Lord, as your word of the year, only to be faced with holding true to it a few days later.
No matter what this year brings, no matter what life happens, I will praise His name.
Me, 11 January 2024
I’m so thankful I am not in any pain. The tremors are an inconvenience and annoyance more than anything. It’s frustrating to not be able to really crochet or do embroidery right now because I just don’t fully have the fine motor skills and function to do them. It’s hard to type and be on the computer. But I’m still able to drive, and do most regular tasks around the house, take the girls on adventures, and most of our normal life things.
I’m so thankful that my GP took me seriously, and that from that first appointment, everything has moved quickly. I have blessedly not had to wait too long to make appointments or get results back. Truthfully, I wasn’t expecting neurology to call until the 2nd week in February, and certainly didn’t expect to be able to get a next day appointment: but God.
I’m so thankful for the sweetest friends who have been checking in on me and praying for me these last few weeks in the midst of this sea of unknown, and celebrating the little wins I’ve had along the way. Sending me verses, and letting me know that they’re just thinking of me and praying for me.
I’m SO thankful for family. Everyone has been such a huge help with watching the girls on short notice when appointments & testing opens up and just making sure we’re taken care of.
I’m thankful that in the uncertainty of this season that I have the most solid certainty of all that the Lord has His hand in all of this– I’ve already seen it and felt it. And I know that whatever plans He has are far better than my own, there is purpose, and that His name will be praised in each circumstance we come up against.
The Nurtured Bee 