I used to think self-care was a joke. That productivity equaled value and worth. If you weren’t moving, you were wasting time. Spending time and money on frivolous things like skin care, mani/pedis, or even superfluous food, was frowned upon. I was clearly more superior as I was so low maintenance as a woman. I was working 40+hrs a week with multiple jobs, commuting to school with an overload of credits, and getting pre-service work in at a local public school. Not to mention a huge garden I was maintaining and harvesting. I was CRUSHING it. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why I’d get SO sick every winter around Christmas.
Y’all I had bought into the hustle-girl-boss culture of the 2000s pretty hard. I used to joke that I’d sleep when I was dead.
Then I was teaching full time. After the chaos of college life, teaching almost felt like a break. This was also pre-children and Ethan often worked late at the job he had at the time, so I had no issue spending my time at home doing more school work.
THEN I had a child. And it all went to hell in a hand basket. I was overwhelmed and drowning. I was in a new town with almost no friends. We had left our church under hurtful circumstances, and with the exception of my family, and Ethan, I was pretty much alone. Not too long after that we get pregnant with Eleanor in 2019. We can probably all remember the insanity of 2020.
That year is the year I started figuring out this whole self care thing. I also started really learning about homeschool and leaning into the idea of not having to go 125mph all day every day. I loved the Charlotte Mason concept of Mother culture, and the idea that mom’s can’t pour from an empty cup. I know it’s cliche, but reading her works, it just finally clicked for me. I needed to take care of myself and do things that filled me.
Don’t get me wrong, it was still chaotic. But it was a slower kind of chaotic. We were stuck at home and I leaned into gardening even MORE than I already had been. We started raising caterpillars in earnest. I started regularly going to the flower farm for buckets of flowers for bouquets around the house. I started painting my nails and even got myself a bougie Olive & June set. I started reading again- something I had taken a hiatus from because I had been swamped with juggling my new life as a mother. I started investing in my people and friends with intention. Be the friend you want to have. Show up. Meet them where they are.
I thought a Parkinson’s diagnosis in 2024 had slowed me down a bit. And it kind of did. We parred our adventuring back a good bit while we figured things out. I had to step back from worship teams. At that same time, it was a motivator for me to take care of me, and do some things for ME.
In almost 8 years of marriage, and 7 years of parenting, I had never left the family for any kind of overnight. Ethan has gone on some short trips. The girls have done sleep overs with our parents for a few nights at a time. But MOM had never left the gang to go on an adventure herself. SO I DID IT. I got a mani before I left (gasp!). I spent almost a week with my best friend from high school across the country in Washington State. It was a vacation and relaxing in a way I had never experienced. It was healing and soul filling more than I ever expected. We traveled to beautiful places, ate incredible food, caught a fish at Pike Place, and attended a Seattle Kraken game- the team is terrible but the fan experience is next level. Yes, we are already planning our get together for 2026. We’re thinking maybe a Spring training meet up in Arizona- we LOVE sports.
There’s still a whole lot of busy around here. The girls are getting ready to start dance along with our homeschool year. We are working on training Strider as my service dog. I’m teaching for True North online, and teaching 2 classes for our in-person, local, homeschool co-op. I’m doing marketing work for 3 different organization, editing books & curriculum for others, and I’m running my own website/social media, and curriculum writing. There is never a dull moment. Our house, hands, and hearts are quite full!
I’ve slowly but surely been over-coming my go-getter, non-stop, hustle, mentality, even if that list above doesn’t seem like it. I’ve learned to be better about saying, “just because I can doesn’t mean I should.” I’ve learned to be better about protecting my spoons (IYKYK). On the days when my battery is just not there, I’ve learned to give myself grace in the rest. I have the best support system in the world that will encourage me and speak life, and will also give me a kick in the pants with love (#JerseyMel) when necessary as well. Every season isn’t perfect. There’s new and exciting things around every bend. Every day is a new adventure in my world; and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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The Nurtured Bee 